Selfish

Back in August 2012, when T-man went through his evaluation (via Childrens Specialized Hospital), I knew something was going to turn up I just didn't know what. I thought for sure it wasn't going to be Autism. I mean his therapists through Early Intervention had all said that he didn't show to many signs so they doubted that was what he had. During his evaluation as he was being his natural self I started to get nervous. CRAP...he is "PASSING" the one evaluation I did not want him to. The evaluation came to an end and the nurse practioner said "Mrs.Vaccarella, T-man shows all the signs of classic Aspergers Syndrome". PHEW dodged a bullet there. I was terrified of what it would mean if T-Man had Classic Autism. How SELFISH of me. SELFISH there is no other word. If he would have been diagnosed with a different level of ASD would that have changed him or who he was? Not in the least bit! He would still be my loving, smart, crazy & uncordinated little boy! America puts a stigma on these poor kids that freak parents out. Makes you hope and pray that it isn't your kid. No way did I want to parent a child who wears sweatpants to his chest, carries a wiggles doll and shreaks for what appears to be no reason. Nope not me. SELFISH! If that WERE my child wouldn't I still love and cherish him? Wouldn't I still fight the fight? OF COURSE! So why should I have been terrified of what a lable would mean? All a lable does is open up a world of help and resources! Without the lable insuarance can deny claims, therapys never recieved ect. In the past 6 months since T-mans diagnosis I have had the privledge of meeting children all up and down the spectrum. They are all amazing children who have amazing fighters as parents. These women have taught me how to be T-man's biggest advocate, fighter and rock. They have shown me ways to help T-man adjust to things that upset him, tools to help him accomplish tasks he finds hard and most of all lent an ear when I just needed to vent. How selfish of me to not want my son to be apart of this group. To be 1 in 88. Every single one of these kids are amazing and talented in their own ways. Sweatpants=easier to handle while going to the bathroom, Wiggles doll=comfort and fimilarity in a busy unknown place, Screeching=only form of expressing themselves when they are over stimulated. There is a reason these kids do what they do and I am glad that I am learning about it step by step. I am done being SELFISH and ready to embrace all of it. Every meltdown, every set back and every accomplishment. As hard as this road will be I am ready to walk it with my head held high and ready to EDUCATE, EMBRACE and SUPPORT. The next time I see a worn down mom with a "unruly" child I am going to give her an understanding smile and offer to help her out. I am not going to be glad it is her and not me anymore because it IS me. If your child is showing signs of delay or issues PLEASE do not be afraid of getting them evaluted by a doctor! The earlier it is done the better. DO NOT BE AFRAID OF A LABLE!

On to the next..

This is crazy. I have not touched this blog in so long. SO much has changed! T-man has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. This hasn't really changed our life in a large way right NOW but will in the future. It has brought so many posatives to our lives that we haven't had a chance to really look for the negatives. T-man has also became a BIG brother to my NT (neuro Typical) daughter Baby Girl. She has brought so much happiness to our home and it is such a joy to see them grow and love one another. I am thinking of bring this blog back and turning it into a blog about our story and how raising a family with a son who has Asperger's (ASD) effects the whole family dynamic. So on to the next!